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Hurt Feelings among New Acquaintances: Moderating Effects of Interpersonal Familiarity

Wake Forest University

Mark R. Leary

Wake Forest University, leary{at}wfu.edu

Previous research suggests that people's feelings are hurt more frequently by those whom they know well than by strangers and acquaintances, but these findings are based on retrospective accounts of hurtful events. This study examined the moderating effect of familiarity on hurt feelings among people who have recently become acquainted. Participants were led to experience either a relatively low or high degree of familiarity with a confederate. Afterwards, the confederate chose to listen either primarily to them or another participant as they talked about themselves. Results showed that participants were significantly more hurt when they were ignored by a confederate who barely knew them than by a confederate who was more familiar with them. Effects of being ignored showed a similar pattern on a measure of state self-esteem.

Key Words: closeness • emotion • familiarity • hurt feelings

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