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Experiences of Falling in Love

University of British Columbia, Canada and Santa Clara University, USA

Donald G. Dutton

University of British Columbia, Canada

Elaine N. Aron

Chapman College, USA

Adrienne Iverson

Santa Clara University, USA

Accounts of falling in love were obtained from three samples: (a) lengthy accounts from fifty undergraduates who had fallen in love in the last 8 months; (b) brief accounts from 100 adult nonstudents, which were compared to 100 brief falling-in-friendship accounts from the same population; and (c) questionnaire responses about falling-in-love experiences from 277 undergraduates, which were compared to falling-in-friendship-experience questionnaires from eighty-three similar undergraduates. Content analyses of Study 1 and 2 accounts and Study 3 questionnaire results suggested that falling in love was preceded by frequent reported incidences of discovering other's liked the self and noticing other's desirable characteristics (appearance and personality); moderate incidences of perceived similarity, propinquity and `special falling-in-love processes' (readiness, specific cues, arousal/unusualness, mystery, isolation); and relatively low reported incidences of filling needs and social influence. These patterns contrast with those suggested by the general-attraction and mate-selection literatures. Falling-in-friendship accounts, on the other hand, gave relatively more emphasis to similarity and propinquity, but somewhat less to reciprocal liking, other's desirable characteristics, needs, and the special falling-in-love processes.

Journal of Social and Personal Relationships, Vol. 6, No. 3, 243-257 (1989)
DOI: 10.1177/0265407589063001


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