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Journal of Social and Personal Relationships
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Relating at a distance: Negotiating being together and being apart in long-distance relationships

Erin M. Sahlstein

University of Richmond

Partners in various relational types transition between being together and apart, but these transitions are far from seamless in long-distance relationships (LDRs). In this study, a relational dialectics framework was used to examine long-distance romantic relationships (LDRRs) and explore the contradiction(s) experienced by LDRR partners as they negotiate between togetherness and separation. Twenty heterosexual couples participated in audio-taped ‘couple interviews’ in which they answered a series of questions about the mutual influence of togetherness and separation in their relationships. Results showed that across all 20 couples the interaction states of being together and being apart mutually enable and constrain one another in many ways. Implications for the study of long-distance relating using a relational dialectics approach are presented.

Key Words: absence • co-presence • long-distance relationships • relational dialectics

Journal of Social and Personal Relationships, Vol. 21, No. 5, 689-710 (2004)
DOI: 10.1177/0265407504046115
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